Discovering what I'm trying to do while in the process of doing it. Seems like a hard way to work it out. But it's all I've got right now.
Today was another day. For some reason I decided that I wanted to be like Spalding Gray and write a performance monologue. I took a class at Playhouse in the Park a while ago to learn how to write monologues. It was an interesting class. Then yesterday I had lunch with a friend who said that I was blogging before blogging was blogging.
A few years ago, while in a dead end job, I started "characterizing" my adventures in the office. I wrote little "episodes" and emailed the missive to friends. Soon I had a cult-like following. I then parlayed that into a standup routine that got me to the semi-finals of the Funniest Person contest at a local comedy club.
So today while I was having another sadness episode ('cause I still haven't quite figured out the depression thing) I thought back to Spalding Gray. I really don't know much about him except that he is revered as a monlogist and that he committed suicide in 2004 because of depression. Can depression be that bad?
I decided to check out his last book "Life Interupted." The beginning quote is adapted from the forward of the book. It seemed a good title. In addition, I liked the title of "Life Interrupted." That's what I feel like when I battle this MS and sadness. My life is interrupted.
So how do I go on?
Like Gray, I'll create a monoloue. Like I did years ago, I'll create it in cyberspace. Only this time there's a real cyberspace to post it.
I read recently that a local woman is writing and producing a play based on her experiences with MS. I want to use this blog for the same purposes. I have another blog that's my comedy rantings. I think I'll leave that one there. This one helps me to deal with my life interruptions.